18. Physical contact love for your children
Photo 35. My Dad loves me with his eye contact love and physical contact love.
The newborn baby grasps his dad’s finger tightly, and the baby and his dad are enjoying the physical contact love with each other. The love bonding between his father and his child is firmly formed. His father gives a lot of love like this. Still, there are cases where the baby is delivered in the hospital delivery room and the baby is not taken to the sweet home where the father is. instead of that, some newborn moms and newborn babies go to the postpartum care facility.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Picture 36. His Dad hugs his newborn baby. Through such physical contact love, the father and his baby are receiving mutual love thru physical contact love. The love bonding between his father and his baby will continue until the distant future.
Dad!, did you hug me a lot? When asked, the answer must be yes.
You need to know a lot so you can answer. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Picture 37. The papa hugs his baby and loves him through physical contact.
Through this physical contact love, a love bonding between the father and his child son is formed. If possible, I would recommend all fathers to make a love bonding with their newborn baby at the delivery room. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Picture 38. A newborn baby’s hands resemble his father’s hands a lot. My father loves me through his physical contact. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Picture 39. A newborn baby’s legs and feet resemble his father’s legs and feet a lot.
My father loves me through physical contact love.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Parents use his appropriate physical contact love as a means of conveying his unconditional true love to their children.
In addition, parents use their eye-contact love, and focused attention love, and care to more effectively and fully convey their love to their children.
Children who grow up without receiving any physical contact love, eye contact love, and focused attention love from their parents are difficult to survive in this world.
If parents’ love-motherhood or fatherhood love is not passed on to their children, their children cannot fully grow or develop. Physical contact love is essential to raising children. And it is a necessity for children’s lives.
True unconditional love is a basic essential condition of raising children. In addition, if you love your children a lot through these three means of parental love, they will grow up happily, have sound healthy self-esteem and pride, and do their best whatever you do.
Unfortunately, many parents are simply raising their children without knowing whether physical contact love, eye contact love, and focused attention love, and care are essential conditions for raising their children.
It is very important for parents to make proper physical contact with their children so that they can communicate parental love to their children.
Parents’ love for their children is strongly transmitted to their children when they truly love their children unconditionally while loving them with appropriate physical contact.
If they do not receive physical contact love, children will not be able to grow, develop, and wither and die.
Birds, as well as all warm-blood animals in the world, must receive proper physical contact love from their mothers in order to survive.
Seeing that even many kinds of insects come together and live in contact with each other, it seems that they must have physical contact love in order to survive.
In order to give appropriate physical contact love to children, physical contact love can be planned, or proper physical contact can be made naturally, such as placing a hand on the child’s shoulder or hugging the child during daily life, so that true unconditional love can be given to children.
When parents love their child through physical contact, parents should do it appropriately and naturally.
In particular, it is very important to do it appropriately and naturally when giving physical contact love to school-age children or adolescent children through physical contact just before puberty begins.
Parents’ proper physical contact love is essential for their children to grow up mentally, physically, healthy, and happy with sound healthy self-esteem.
Photo 40. A newborn baby is grasping her mother’s finger tightly and is giving each other love for physical contact love. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Picture 41 An infant holds her mother’s finger tightly and is making physical contact with each other. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 42. An infant is grasping her mother’s finger and making physical contact love with each other. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 43. The newborn baby is grasping his mother’s finger tightly and is loving with physical contact love. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 44. Hand physical contact love. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 45. Physical contact love between his mother and her child. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Physical contact love can be given to others when each other are appropriately and naturally in contact with a part of the body of another person while wearing clothes or a naked part of the body such as hands, feet, shoulders, the trunk or the face, etc. The word of physical contact love here does not mean heterosexual relationship love.
Instead of the word physical contact love, the words hand touch love are also used.
Or, in Korea these days, the term “skinship” instead of the word physical contact love is used.
Although I don’t know who made the word “skinship”, the word “skinship is not good in neither English nor Korean. If translated into an obsolete language, it seems to mean “shallow superficial skin contact in each other”.
Please don’t use this phrase in steady, please.
On the contrary, the word physical contact love means not only warm skin contact love but also love that is transmitted to every single cell of the whole body.
In fact, unknowingly in our human society, parents and children love each other, friends love friends, and the male or the female opposite sexes exchange love through physical contact.
Nevertheless, in many cases, we are not well aware that we are living in such physical contact.
By the physical contact between parents and children, they can exchange love, and human emotions and sorrows, and they communicate with each other through affection, sympathy, love, welcome, joy, greetings, and also through appropriate natural physical contact between siblings, friends, and guests.
Physical contact love between married couples or between opposite sexes differs from physical contact love in the parenting of children.
When caresses, hugs, and love-making between a couple or the opposite sex are naturally fun and appropriate, they are mentally and physically healthier, tensions are easier to relax, stress is relieved, a sense of stability, fears disappear, affection, sympathy, and affection for each other. There is more kindness.
As a means of conveying love between married couples and strengthening their love, they do a lot of physical contact love unconsciously and consciously.
“Most Europeans have more appropriate physical contact, such as hugs or handshakes between their favorite friends. Americans are said to live by socializing and sharing emotions with less appropriate physical contact than they do. (Source: Loving Each Other, Dr. Leo Buscaglia).
How should we look at the Korean-style child-rearing method, which has been based on Confucian thoughts, and raises children with physical contact love?
Not only they did not receive education on how to raise children, physical contant love, such as hugs, kisses, touchings, etc., and also they thought that it was not good to love children through such kind of physical contact, but parents used to raise their children based on the strict Confucian ethical morality such as “after 7 years old the male and the female should not sit together”.
In other words, “Don’t look up straight with an adult or other partner into the conversation “
So, there was no way to show one’s intelligent and compassionate gaze to the other person, and there was no way to receive eye contact with the other’s gaze.
This education was based on the beautiful Eastern notion of morality. There are many good parenting methods in the classical Eastern way of raising children.
There are also many good things about the scientific, sound, and traditional Western way of raising children.
Now we are living in a cyber world.
I think that it is good to raise our children according to the best child-rearing method for our children by taking the good points from the classical method of raising children in the East and the good method of raising children in the classical method of raising children in the West.
Photo 46. As the fetus in the mom’s womb plays to kick his mother’s abdominal wall with his feet and pushes it with her head to have physical contact love, receiving the love of the mother’s physical contact and conveying her love to the mother. Copyright © 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD ., FAAP
Photo 47. The husband kisses his pregnant wife’s belly and puts his ear to hear the baby in her belly. He says “I love you and I am waiting for my dear baby to be born into this world”. Dad loves the baby in his wife’s stomach through eye contact, physical contact. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
If you make a mistake in loving your children through physical contact, you can be mistaken for incest, homosexuality, adultery, sexual violence, or child sexual abuse.
There are cases in court that an unknown adult naturally makes appropriate physical contact to the child and has committed sexual abuse of children (sexual pediatric abuse).
Rational emotions can arise in parents when parents give appropriate and natural physical contact love to their children.
Their parents especially give appropriate and natural physical contact to their adolescent children. Some of the heterosexual feelings may be developed naturally when parents give natural physical contact to especially their adolescent child.
For this reason, even some parents are reluctant to give to their children proper natural physical contact.
Such parenting loves are the wrong idea.
But, unfortunately, some parents give seductive love to their children. This is a very miserable parent-child relationship.
In addition, when it has to be very careful to make inappropriate physical contact with your relatives or friends who have not seen each other for a long time, especially when they kindly shake hands or hug each other and kiss each other on the cheek. This kind of physical contact, in fact, must be careful. Sometimes all we have to be careful.
In some cases, when they greet each other, by saying, “Do not touch my body.”
It is also common to see a scene where good friends, parents, or siblings bow their heads to each other, standing silently with their arms folded and looking at each other with unpleasant emotional glances.
Some argue that it is the most beautiful greeting method to nod or bow down without kissing the other cheek or shaking the hand for the prevention of infections.
Teachers at school often help students to set their physical direction in which they should go by making physical contact as needed, or when they.
All of this is truly unfortunate for all of us.
As the fetus plays in the mother’s womb, she kicks, hits, and pushes the mother’s abdominal wall with her feet, hands, head receives physical contact love from the mother and conveys her love of physical contact to the mother.
Dad touches the pregnant wife’s belly, puts his ears on the pregnant wife’s belly, kisses her belly with his mouth, and says to the baby in her belly, “I love you and I am waiting for you.”
Dad loves his baby in her stomach through eye contact, physical contact, and words.
Photo 48. Newborn baby’s head and mother’s hand.
This is also a kind of physical contact love.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 49. You can list a lot about the medical benefits of breastfeeding. However, among the breastfeeding described here, the best advantage of breastfeeding is that the baby receives physical contact love from the mother, and also the mother also receives physical contact love from the baby. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
As soon as the baby is born, the dad hugs the blood-red baby and loves him with physical contact love. The first love bonding between parents and the child is well-formed. In addition, he loves the newborn baby through eye contact, observing each eye, the nose, and the ear.
In the cesarean section delivery room, we often see a scene where a newborn baby is held and loved by his mother at the delivery table and his father in the cesarean section room.
I felt endless beauty when I observe a mother who delivered by a cesarean section and loved her baby by touching her newborn baby with pale, trembling hands, holding her baby in her chest with her eye contact love, and loving her through physical contact love.
The beautiful fatherhood and motherhood that can be seen in the process of childbirth during pregnancy and childbirth are very noble.
This is where the love bonding between parents and children begins to form firmly.
Once, a woman I met on the street gave me suddenly a big hug and said “Thank you.”
The woman delighted me by saying, “When I gave birth to Anita from a cesarean section room, you were a good doctor who put my blood-red newborn daughter on my fore chest on the delivery room table and dragged my hands to touch and hug Anita.”
While breastfeeding, the infant boy sucks the mother’s nipples in his mouths, and the baby rubs his face against the mother’s breasts and his mother embraces him in his mother’s arms, receiving love for physical contact from his mother.
In addition, unknowingly, the mother is soaked in the love of physical contact from the nursing baby.
As a nursing mother, “I have joy, satisfaction, and confidence in being able to nurture my child by feeding my breasts.”
While breastfeeding, the mother also receives the physical contact love from the nursing baby and relieves the physical and mental fatigue and stress caused by pregnancy and childbirth as a mother. Postpartum physical changes caused by pregnancy or childbirth recover more quickly.
The author says that the whole process that occurs after childbirth is called the postpartum care process.
During breastfeeding, newborns, infants, and toddlers receive physical contact love while sucking on the mother’s breast and touching the mother’s breast.
So, it is said that babies who are breastfeeding, more stable and happier and their mothers have less tension, stress, fear, and less illness. Their babies are said to have less infant colic. In addition, nursing mothers are less likely to develop postpartum blues or postpartum depression.
It is impossible to list many things that breastfeeding is scientifically and medically good, but the best advantage of breastfeeding is that breastfed babies receive physical contact love from their mothers and mothers also from their babies during breastfeeding described here.
As soon as the baby is born, more oxytocin hormone is secreted from the posterior lobe of the mother’s pituitary gland, and the breast milk secretion system in the mother’s breast is activated, the breast milk is secreted toward the nipples, and meanwhile the uterus contracts, resulting in faster postpartum recovery occurred. The oxytocin hormone is called the love hormone. It’s amazing.
Picture 50. This young man is holding his two children without knowing that he is loving them through physical contact love. And both children are very much loved by their father’s physical contact love. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Picture 51. This young man is holding one child and putting another child on his lap to make physical contact love without knowing that he is loving his children through physical contact love. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAA
Also, while raising children, parents unknowingly hug, lift, and let to sleep on parent laps, kiss, scratch the back, bathe, stroke the head, touch the shoulder, prick the side, and hold hands, arm wrestling, wrestling, horse riding, dressing, and stripping, touching the children’s bodies by the hand or the body to love them and fill their love tanks.
Many parents are unaware that the love of parents is strongly transmitted to their children through such physical contact mentioned above.
However, it is impossible to express how much parental love is transmitted through physical contact for children.
Children who live in beautiful homes, eating nutritious foods, or wearing good clothes cannot grow and develop properly if they do not receive any love through physical contact from their parents. They are more susceptible to mental and physical illness, obese, and more prone to depression if they do not receive physical contact love.
When parents bathe their newborns or infants, toddlers bathing is a very good way to love children by wiping off unclean dirt and grime from the body, looking for any abnormalities in the body, loving words, loving eyes, and loving them through physical contact. The bathe given by parents is a wonderful opportunity to give parents love.
It is a powerful means to convey the parents’ physical contact love to their children by scratching the back when itchy, and even if there is no abnormality at first glance when the limb is hurting. It’s a great opportunity to give focused attention love.
Not only while growing up, but also through adolescence, adulthood, and middle age, and until the old age where Yi Soon(60 years old) and Gohee(70 years old) meet, they use it as a vitality to remember and live without forgetting the significant physical contact love they received from their parents.
The trivial physical contact, such as a parent to pass by the side of adolescent children, pricking the child’s side with the parent’s hand, patting the child’s head, or swiping the shoulder, seems to be insignificant, but such physical contact love is engraved, cherished, and remembered.
Even after they have grown up and become independent, while living apart from their parents, they use the petty physical contact love received from their parents as energy resources when they break away from the conflicts and hardships that occur in life.
At other special occasions, you can give your child physical contact love to hug or hold her hands.
In particular, if you properly hug your pre-adolescent children and give them a lot of physical contact love, your children will not suffer from depression and will live as if the misty fog the mountains disappears.
Stress is eliminated and the body’s immune system functions more active, so the disease is healed well and the disease does not come back.
Children are happy and excited, they study better, they are more responsive to their parental guidance or authorities, and do their best in whatever they do.
There is a“Dr. Hug”.
The doctor Hug also prescribes antibiotics to the patient as needed, or prescribes drugs such as digestive agents appropriately.
In addition, Dr. Hug says he prescribes “basic” drugs like the gaum-cho in herb medicine in Korea !
Can you guess what basic medicine is?
It is said that the ingredient of the basic drug was a drug called “Hug.”
He said that he prescribed “take the basic medicine orally four times a day.”
The main precaution on the prescription was warned, “Even overdose does not cause side effects and, of course, does not kill, but it can sometimes lead to poisoning”
When I was a child, I remembered my father’s physical contact love, who washed me by pouring cold spring water over my whole naked body because I alone went to catch a basketful of crucian carp from the paddy pool.
How can I forget my mother’s physical contact, one day my mother brought me home by caring me on her back on the way home from elementary school because I suffered from malaria with high fever and whole body ache at elementary school.
Carrying young children, giving them piggyback, and raising their children through physical contact love, such as riding a horse, is a kind of physical contact love.
Wrestling with school-age children, arm wrestling is all good examples of physical contact love.
Good clothes, travel, and education for children are good for raising children, but this kind of physical contact love received from parents seems very trivial in raising children, but it is an incredibly valuable way of raising children.
You may find that making physical contact love to your adolescent children is more difficult than before puberty.
Most adolescent children sometimes resist even when they receive the proper physical contact love from their parents.
However, simple and natural physical contact love is well received by adolescent children.
You can give them with intentional physical contact, and you can love them appropriately through natural physical contact.
Physical contact love from parents will be relatively well acceptable especially
when they accomplish difficult tasks that their peers cannot achieve,
when they are hurt by something,
when they are hurt by physical injury,
when they are sick,
when the body is hurt,
when just before they go on a long trip,
or when they return from it.
This kind of physical contact love that their parents have given them when they were young, physical contact love still reminds them to have parental physical contact love,
and when they encounter emotions and sorrows while they grow up and live independently from their parents, as well as during their growth and development. The love received from the parents becomes an energy resource in their lives.
Fig. 52. When parents give bathe a newborn or an infant, toddlers bathing is a very good means of physical contact love for young children, as well as to wipe the dirt, look for any abnormalities in the body, love with words and eyes. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
The loving bonding between parents and children is firmly formed in the child-raising process thru physical contact love given as in bathing, and conversation while also providing eye contact love at the same time and filling the child’s love tank thoroughly.
Rather than simply giving a bath, “You are so pretty”, “You are so good,” “You are so healthy,” or “Why are you so thin?”, “Eat more rice”, “I’ll buy vitamins, so you take, get fat, and grow healthy. I hope.” If parents say love with words like above, your child will know better that your father or mother truly loves you.
When they are convinced that their parents love them, it is natural for the child to obey well their parents’ training.
Physical contact love should be natural, comfortable, not excessive, and appropriate so as not to be awkward.
This is especially true when giving physical contact love to adolescent children.
Photo 53. Youngha receiving a special award at the Connecticut Stae Piano Contest.
The physical contact love for adolescent children can be more difficult for a number of reasons than before puberty. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 54. Younha being congratulated by receiving physical contact love from his piano teacher.
In special cases, such as when a person has accomplished a difficult task or when his heart hurts, a simple, appropriate, deliberate or natural physical contact can help adolescents to accept it well. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 55. Dad gives focused attention loves and care to his adolescent daughter and loves her through appropriate physical contact. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
Photo 56. A mother loves her adolescent daughter with focused attention loves and care and appropriate physical contact. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
May I give one of my children’s physical contact experiences,
Once, on the birthday of my daughter, who was in Boston college, my wife and I drove for 2 hours to give her birth party.
She also invited some close friends and held a birthday party.
Suddenly she sat down on my knee where she was sitting, hugged my neck tightly with both arms, kissed my face like lightning, and said, “Thank you, Daddy and Mom.”
I don’t think there is a need to explain much how powerfully the appropriate physical contact love given by my daughter is transmitted to the parents as well.
Children who have the right amount of love for proper physical contact from their parents grow up really happy.
In addition, the children who grow up receiving a lot of unconditional love, care, training with love, good eye contact love and focused attention love, and care are the happiest in the world and full of justice to them.
As explained earlier, when giving physical contact love to adolescent children, it should be natural, comfortable, not excessive, not awkward, but short and simple.
However, in some cases, you can do a little longer and more.
The physical contact love received from parents is a necessity and energy resource that both boys and girls must have during their growth and development.
Photo 57. The two dogs Allie and Meggie are hugging each other. Although dogs, warm-blood animals are difficult to survive without receiving any physical contact love. In particular, we humans cannot live normally without receiving physical contact love. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
In particular, for boys and girls before the age of 7 years old, the love of their parental physical contact is extremely important and they need more.
Unfortunately, there are many children these days who grow up without receiving any of these proper physical contact love, especially from their father.
In particular, some doctors say that children who are growing up without receiving any proper physical contact love from especially their father are very poor.
In particular, Dr. Ross Campbell noted in his book “How to Really Love Your Teenager,” if girls are older than 12 years old grew up without receiving any of the proper physical contact love from particularly their father, girls will not happy at all.
As mentioned above, most adolescent children seem to resist when they receive physical contact love from their parents.
However, when they are tired, when they are sad, when they are away from home, when they go far away when they are far from home when they are sick when they are tired when they are mentally and physically injured when they accomplish difficult tasks and receive rewards when they fail. It is common for even adolescents to accept physical contact love appropriately in special cases such as when they do it.
Appropriate hugs by parents physical contact love are sometimes essential to school-age children before puberty begins, and even later adolescents.
The physical contact love received from parents can be the vitality and strength needed to more easily endure the confusion, conflict, solitude, frustration, and pain common to adolescent children. And that love becomes a vital energy resource to do their best whatever they do in their life.
Parents need to fill their children’s love tanks thoroughly with physical contact love, eye contact love, focused attention love, and care so that they can grow happily.
Last but not least, most of what I’ve learned from Dr. Ross Campbell’s “How to Really Love Your Teenager” and “How to really love your child”, along with 40 years of my pediatric practice for children and adolescents, also raising my own three children. This article was written based on the experience gained while working.
Photo 58. If physical contact love should be given appropriately, but children like it. Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP
How often have you given appropriate physical contact love to your children in your daily life? Also, how often did you say “I love you” while making physical contact love appropriately to your children, and also making eye contact love?
Are you truly loving and raising your children without condition?
If you love so much and fill your children’s love tanks until the fullest, they will be healthy and happy and satisfied, they will follow their parents’ training and will do their best in whatever they do. And they will grow with sound healthy self-esteem and pride.
This is what parents wish for their children. In addition, it is the duty and right of parents to give their children unconditional true love through eye contact love, physical contact love, focused attention love, and care and love training.
Isan Family Reunion(Separated family due to Korean War Reunion)
Brother and sister reunion at Mt. Geumgang. Reporter Do-hoon Kim, South Korean Min Ho-sik (84) and Min Eun-sik (81) from North Korea, at a group reunion held at the Kumgangsan Myeon Center on the afternoon of the 20th Reunion Ceremony day, the first day of the 20th family reunion event. )
The grandmother from North Korea hugged and cried. See: Articles from The Yonhap News