22. Help your children to develop healthy self-esteem

 22. Help your children to develop healthy self-esteem

Photo 3-239. Children who are raised with enough true unconditional love not only love themselves but also others and do their best in whatever they do. From an early age, she has been growing with sound healthy self-esteem and pride, and confidence.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

Who is a successful person?
Parents and siblings are harmonious and comfortable, looking up to heaven, and looking around the world, without shame, being gentle, good, polite, humble, living in humility, raising children so that he or she can be part of a productive member in society with sound healthy self-esteem and pride, and love while helping others, in addition, that, if he or she has abundant food, clothing, and comfortable shelter in his life or her life, and also he or she is healthy and productive in this world, he or she can say that he or she may be a successful person.I wonder how many such people are in this world.
All parents desperately want their precious children to have a successful life.
But being successful is not that easy.

Looking at the entire life of “successful people”, they have one or two things in common for their success.
They were healthy, had smart brains from their birth, studied hard, did their best in whatever they did, had good interpersonal relationships, and when they did something, they had a good plan before starting and did it well systematically.

He went ahead and ended it successfully, He set his priorities in his life well and did his job well according to that priority.

On top of that, not only have they have received unconditional and genuine love from their parents during their growth, they will continue to be loved by their parents and continue to learn to love their spouse, children, and others even after adulthood, and they will have a wealth of financial and sound healthy self-esteem and pride.

It is true.
It’s easy to understand how important it is for growing children to have a lot of healthy self-esteem and pride.
How much you have healthy self-esteem and pride determines whether you can succeed in this world or not.
The children raised up with genuine, unconditional love from their parents have healthy self-esteem and pride and strength, and they grow up happily.
Parents have so many things to do with their children from an early age to help them to be success with a lot of healthy self-esteem and pride.
The most important thing among them is to give enough true love without conditions.
Parents need to fill their children ‘s love tanks fully thoroughly, training them with eye contact love, proper physical contact love,  focused attention love, and care, and train with love.
Only then, from birth to newborn, infancy, preschool age, school age, puberty, and adulthood, parents know how to love others with healthy self-esteem and pride, and is loved by others, and is not afraid when faced with new or difficult tasks.
People with healthy self-esteem and pride can lead a beautiful life, live politely and humbly, and lead a successful life.
For this reason, parents should teach their children how to live with an abundance of

healthy self-esteem and pride.

Photo 3-240. A child who has grown up receiving enough love for eye contact, physical contact, and true unconditional love. the child not only loves himself but also loves others and does his best in whatever he does. From an early age, he lives with healthy self-esteem and pride, and confidence.
Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

It is pride to think, evaluate, feel own values ​​and abilities soundly and highly.
Because everyone has healthy self-esteem and pride, they say that there is an existence called “I” and “I am an unparalleled being in this world”.
Having this healthy self-esteem and pride is very important in the lives of children and adults.
Your success in your life can be determined by how much and how powerful you are with healthy self-esteem and pride.
Still, many people live without knowing what healthy self-esteem is.
Children with an abundance of healthy self-esteem know how to love others and receive more love from others.
Healthy self-esteem is a must-have in life.
Having an abundance of healthy self-esteem creates a sense of security in his life by doing his best in whatever he does.
They are not afraid or afraid when they run into new things.

It is common to have a firm mind to solve the new problem and naturally take an attitude to solve the new problem.
On the contrary, people who have unhealthy or damaged self-esteem, who have impaired self-esteem, or who do not have healthy self-esteem, neither know how to love others nor receive love from others.

They are helpless in their daily activities, fear of dealing with strangers, fear of starting new things spontaneously, they can start, but the process of continuing the work can seem awkward.
The efficiency and achievement of school study depend on how rich healthy self-esteem he has. It also greatly affects the degree of growth and maturity. It has a lot of influence on establishing close relationships with peers and friends and having interpersonal relationships with other people.

Photo 3-241. A child who has been brought up with plenty of eye contact love, physical contact love, and unconditional true love, grows up with good eye contact and healthy self-esteem and confidence from an early age.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

Not only that, but healthy self-esteem has a great influence on setting the direction of a healthy life.
It is common for children to develop these ups and downs of self-esteem normally.
The pride of children who grew up receiving enough true unconditional love from their parents is strong.
So they see, touch, feel, think about things around them, and learn from them by feeling what they are.
School-age children and adolescent children with healthy sound self-esteem are not afraid to deal with strangers, are not very suspicious of them, accept them easily, and treat them comfortably. If you have questions about what you feel and think, you tend to ask questions without hesitation and try to find out more.
They are very curious.
It is a personality that is commonly seen in school-age children, adolescent children, and adults with healthy self-esteem.
As they grow up and develop and reach school age, they sometimes start to doubt the current status of one’s self-esteem at home at school and compare one’s own values ​​and abilities with those of other peers.
Sometimes they seriously assess how valuable they are, and whether their abilities and body images are better than their peers’ values, abilities, and body images, or if they are lower than theirs. Depending on the results of the evaluation, some of them may have damaged their healthy self-esteem.
Some adolescent children see their body image negatively and their self-esteem can be damaged.
Sometimes, seeing one’s body image is a significant negative aspect that can damage for self-image.
Some adolescent children, who grow up and develop and are sensitive to emotions, react very sensitively to each and every aspect of their body.

Any part of the body that is a little bigger or even a little smaller than that of its peers hurts the trouble and healthy self-esteem. A little fat or a little slimy body can cause a lot of damage in healthy self-esteem.
Adolescent children naturally have great power to seek independence from their parents and authorities. Such a pursuit of independence arises naturally. Because the effort to seek independence is so powerful, adolescents go anywhere alone. They also try to do something on their own without parental help.
How well adolescent children are received by their peers and friends, and how well they are accommodated, also determines the soundness of their healthy self-esteem and pride. In addition, the ability to seek independence is greatly affected by how healthy self-esteem is.
In order to help their adolescent children grow up with an abundance of healthy self-esteem, parents must also give their adolescent a lot of unconditional true love. This is because true unconditional love from parents becomes the driving force in the life of adolescent children.
Newborns, infants, preschool-age children, school-age children, and adolescent children must grow up with true, unconditional love from their parents so that their self-esteem and pride is healthy and strong.
Children with strong self-esteem do their best without being afraid of whatever they do, who they meet, whatever they start with.

Photo 3-242. A child who has received enough eye contact lov and physical contact love and has enough true unconditional love has good eye contact and lives with healthy self-esteem and confidence from infancy. And also make good friends.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

If children and adolescent children are raised by their parents who give possessive love, role reversal love, seductive love, vicarious love, healthy self-esteem for them do not develop, If adolescent children who are conditionally loved and raised or who are raised without genuine love can not have healthy self-esteem or their self-esteem is poor and unhealthy. They are timid and fragile, like chicks that just was hatched.

Children and adolescents who grow up with the warm and loving eye contact love of their parents, warmly hug, lift, freeze, kiss, and so on children and adolescents who have been raised with full care and trained with love have good self-esteem pride even as adults.

From parents, children received possessive love, role reversal love, seductive love, vicarious love, healthy self-esteem does not develop in adolescent children who are conditionally loved and raised or who are raised without genuine love. and their self-esteem is poor and unhealthy. They are timid and fragile, like chicks.

The pride of children and adolescents who have received enough focused attention love and care while growing up, from birth to growth, is higher, more self-esteem. And it is more comfortable to communicate through conversation.
Parents should usually fill their children’s love tanks with unconditional true love. Only then will their self-esteem become healthier and stronger.

As the love received from the parents in the love tank diminishes, their healthy self-esteem and pride diminish and damages.
In this extremely turbulent world, no matter how busy they live, parents give their children plenty of true, unconditional love, and constantly fill their love tanks with eye contact love, physical contact love, and focused attention love, and care. “you have to say I love you. If you make the words louder often so that, they can hear them clearly, their self-esteem becomes healthier and stronger.
Dear parents!
Are you raising your children that way?
Other than that, there are many more things parents need to do to help them develop strong and healthy self-esteem.
For example, even if younger children mislead teamwork in their lives, lose games, learn English at school, they are more faulty than other children, even if they don’t possess special skills, even if they don’t have one arm, you have to truly love without conditions.
For those who receive unconditional love, their healthy self-esteem and pride become higher and richer, and that pride becomes wholesome.
Whether you have one child, two children, or many children, whether they are girls or boys, you must truly love them without condition.
No matter what he does not achieve the best, he should be loved unconditionally and he will do his best to compliment without hesitation, saying, “Well done.”
They need to be praised so that their self-esteem becomes stronger and healthier.
If you praise them only when they performed superlatively well will,  in most cases they disappoint themselves and their image or self-esteem will be damaged because they cannot do all the time best. Our parents sometimes make mistakes in this regard.
Parents should not spare it to give proper praise even if they did not do well at the highest level.
Their parental love can be well conveyed to them by loving them verbally, through eye contact, physical contact. Such love should be given a lot and a lot every day.
It is really not easy to love and nurture children in children adolescents (0-18 years old). But what could be more unfortunate than children not having healthy self-respect than having children with good healthy self-respect?
You have to pay the price.
What will the joy of having a productive, happy, and wholesome child with lots of pride compare to in this world?
Even if school-age children are not very good at drawing, they should refrain from speaking negatively about the child’s drawing or the child’s drawing.

Photo 3-243. A child who has received enough love for eye contact, love for physical contact, and true unconditional love has a good eye contact love and lives with healthy esteem and confidence from an early age. Make friends well.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

Photo 3-244. A child who has received enough eye contact love, physical contact love, and true unconditional love has good eye contact and lives with healthy self-esteem and pride, and confidence from an early age. He is well to listen and get the train well.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

Photo 3-245. A child who is raised with enough eye contact love, physical contact love, and true unconditional love has a good eye contact love and lives with healthy sound pride and confidence from an early age.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

A positive appreciation and no hesitation for other talents he has will strengthen the child’s healthy self-esteem and pride and be healthy.
When you do something in your daily life, a child who does his best and propaganda to the end must be praised and encouraged by saying, “I am proud of you,” so that he or she will have healthy self-esteem and pride.
Do not hesitate to give him water, do trivial errands, or do school homework, and he should praise him as “well done.”
Clap your hands, hug them, kiss them with good eye contact, and give them proper love through physical contact love in order to create healthy self-esteem and pride for your children.
If they humiliate them in such a way that they can’t do anything like that or can’t do anything like that at your age, their healthy self-esteem and pride is damaged and their hearts hurt.
Some of these trivial words can negatively affect your child’s life.
Parents must be extremely careful about word by word that parents have unknowingly found in parenting.
That said, you shouldn’t be complimenting too much or inappropriately.
Appropriate praise should be given according to time and place. It is appropriate to praise to say “Good job” for school-age children who eat rice and put his rice bowl in the kitchen or clean the room. It would be appropriate to praise it as “thank you.”
Only by listening to the right compliments they accept it and strengthen their self-esteem.
When he has done his best to work but haven’t finished it all or he has done something wrong, you can criticize him intermittently, but you have fully supported him.
However, accusing him of doing something wrong or repressing his child, can damage his self-esteem.
In order not to make another mistake in the future, you must point out what is wrong.
Parents also need to set an example for their children so that they can correct what is wrong so that their wholesome self-esteem becomes stronger and healthier.
No matter how young a child maybe, they know whether their parents are truly helping them, sincerely commending them, or making fun of them.
He knows whether the parent forgives his wrongdoing or simply ignores it.
Children with an abundance of healthy self-esteem make good eye contact and grow up cheerfully with a smile when talking with others.
Children who lack self-esteem do not laugh during conversations with others, do not look at the other person with gentle and good eye contact, and may have good eye contact.
Sometimes during a conversation, he turns his gaze down, to the side, or away from him, making the person he is talking to unpleasant.
What’s even more frightening is that the person you’re talking to is disliked during a conversation, so the person you’re talking to may mistakenly think that he is reluctant to continue the conversation because he think he hates him.

 It also hurts the pride of the person you talk to.

What a miserable interpersonal relationship!

 It is not comfortable to have eye contact with school-age children or adolescent children who lack healthy self-esteem and ride, so it is difficult to communicate with them and make close relationships with them.
Such school-age or adolescent children are prone to unhealthy self-esteem and cannot lead to a smooth social life.

Furthermore, we can understand that success in life can also be difficult.

It is very important to give your children unconditional true love, but only when they are well trained with love, they will grow and develop well with a lot of healthy self-esteem and ride.

You should teach them how to make good eye contact.

While growing up under the parenting, you should observe whether your child has good eye contact every day, and continue to train children to have good eye contact.

You shouldn’t think that children naturally have good self-esteem after birth.
Children who have been trained and raised in this way, even when they are young and grown-up, have good eye contact with others during conversations with others, meet and make a lot of good leaders, great teachers, and good friends, and have healthy sound pride.
It trains them to take responsibility for the actions and consequences they have done so that they have healthy self-esteem and ride.

Help your children participate in teamwork appropriate to their age and abilities and train them to do their best when doing teamwork so that their pride is healthy and strong.

During teamwork, you need to find out what happened to his positive and negative behaviors, and the consequences of those positive or negative behaviors and reinforce negative behaviors into positive behaviors and positive behaviors into more positive behaviors. This makes healthy self-esteem and strengthened.
Other rules of family life must be established fairly, and the family rules established once are educated to obey and trained according to those rules.

 If the family rules you have established are too strict for the child, or if the child is unable to act according to the rules and is too formal, or if it seems to be improperly set, it should be appropriately modified with a practical family rule to enforce.

Here, too, parents must set an example for their children and take the lead. Only in this way will your growing child’s healthy self-esteem become healthier and stronger.

“Don’t Do As I Do, Do As I Say” Parental training, such as “Do what I say, do not do what I do, but do what I say”, undermines the healthy self-esteem of their children.

What task

Teaching the habit of reading a reference book on a task before planning and carrying out a task is very important, and it teaches that if you study hard, you will get good academic results and your self-esteem will be stronger and stronger. .

Teach them to speak positively, to follow proper etiquette, and to follow their teachings.

It teaches you to keep your promises and not to lie white or red, respect the opinions of others, and teach you to think reasonably, logically, and reasonably when solving something you see, hear.

It is taught that children who are trained to practice these teachings and live mildly, good, and hardworking will have wholesome and healthy self-esteem and ride.

Some parents are left to be depressed even if they do wrong behaviors that are deviating from courtesy, ethics, and morality, and not trained to behave properly.

Children who have not been lovingly trained by their parents for fear of being depressed may grow up without discerning what is right and what is wrong.

Because of that, they will not be able to develop healthy self-esteem and ride and will not be able to enjoy a successful life.

Teach moral ethics of good manners.

If you train them in an inconsistent mother-and-dad family education method where the father commands him to do this and the mother commands him to do that, their hearts, actions, and minds are confused.

Therefore, both parents must train their children uniformly.

No matter how insignificant a young child may say if the parent listens to him and listens to the end, he or she believes that his parents love and respect him. Children know well whether their parents are eager to listen to them or not. When parents listen well, his pride becomes healthier and stronger.

When a child voluntarily says how he spent the day and what happened to himself, don’t just go over it, listen to the end, be interested in what he did and what happened to him.

Be healthy.

Give the child an opportunity to present his or her opinion at a family meeting and listen to his or her opinion.

Even if you disagree with the parent’s opinion, even if the child’s opinion is wrong, respecting the child’s opinion creates healthy self-esteem and ride.

We all live in a limited time. They live 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. There are countless things to do within a given amount of time in life.

We must set priorities in life, schedule timelines according to them, and spend time appropriately for our children who are the top priorities for us.

You should spend at least 10 to 30 minutes or just a few minutes with one child 24 hours a day. While spending time with a child, you should take the opportunity to think about the problems that are happening in the child’s life.

In this way, while parents and children spend time together, you need to give the focused attention love, and pride so that he or she can feel that he or she is the most important child in the world.

By spending time like this and giving him focused attention love and care, he can reveal to his parents his secrets that his child has deeply cherished.

It is a good opportunity to have a serious conversation between parents and children when they give such focused attention lover and care.

By a focused attention love with him through physical contact with the warm eyes contact love of his parents, he can fill the love tank with his parents’ love, strengthen, his healthy self-esteem, and give him the power to live positively.

When a child messes with his or her room with books, paper, pencils, toys, clothes, etc., instead of training by saying “Why don’t you clean up the room” by using the subject “you”, use the subject “I” am seeing that room is unpleasant.” Or, if you train by saying “no,” it will less damage the child’s self-esteem.

When adolescents ask for their parents’ opinions about their future career choices, their self-esteem is reinforced only when they see positively about the career they choose and go in favor of the choice.

The child’s future job the parents were hoping for was to become a doctor, but when the child decides to become an elementary school teacher, parents must accept the child’s future job as positively as possible and select it according to his will to help him become a teacher. Your child’s self-esteem will be healthy.

It trains them to take responsibility for the good books they need and to take care of their own possessions.

Parents should not throw away or take toys, books, or other possessions without their children’s permission.

Saying contempt, such as the fat, lean, lazy, or idiot, loser, damages his healthy self-esteem and pride. No matter how young they are, they are independent human beings. Parents cannot own children, nor are parents owned, children.

You should never force your children to obey their will just because they think they are interesting and like them.

This love is called possessive love.

This kind of love is false love and is a great cause of damage to a child’s healthy self-esteem and pride.

If they grow up with such love, they will not develop healthy self-esteem, and even a little healthy self-esteem will be greatly damaged.

When the child is planning to do something, find out if the work and plan are appropriate, and if appropriate, help him or her to perform the task successfully, and if any problems arise while doing it, work with parents as needed.

If possible, train them not to start working full of fractions and abilities from the beginning, and when doing big things, do not rush to achieve goals within a short amount of time. Teach that there is also away.

 Photo 3-246. A child who is raised with enough love for eye contact, love for physical contact, and true unconditional love has a good eye contact love and lives with healthy sound self-esteem and pride and confidence from an early age.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

If he works without a plan, he may fail to complete it or fail in the middle, his healthy self-esteem can be damaged. On the contrary, the successful resolution of the task can result in healthy self-esteem and pride.

Find out what was difficult and easy to solve a task, and if you could do almost the same thing over and over again, look for other ways to do it.

When he does work alone, parents shouldn’t be involved from start to finish and do it entirely.

These days, about 6% of pre-adolescent school-age children and adolescent children in the United States are being treated with mental stabilizers and neuropsychiatric stimulants for attention deficit disorder, hyperactivity disorder, depression, behavioral disorder, and stress.

Teach children and adolescents how to deal with stress on their own with such problems.

Teach them how to have the power to challenge all the problems of life, and love and advocate for them without spared praise and support for their abilities.

If you feel that he or she is afraid of something or is incapable of doing it, do not force him or her to continue, but help him do other things.

Teach them to be interested in what they think they can do, out of a range of things or activities. It also encourages them to do new things that are less stressful and challenging.

If he is still under stress, help him relieve stress with physical exercise, deep breathing exercises, or other means, and parents show him how to relieve stress

The home should be the most enjoyable and comfortable haven, home, and learning place for the child.

It should be a sweet home. Nevertheless, these days, parents have a fashionable divorce, an unpleasant divorce, a divorce to live happily, a twilight divorce or a separate life, and their young children have lost their shelter.

As I planted, it is worth at least once to think about the consequences of forgetting the causal relationship and living alone after the age of 57.

Make sure you eat three meals a day regularly with balanced, nutritious foods. You get the energy and nutrients from breakfast to do your job well for the day. Therefore, it is taught that breakfast is very important for three meals a day. Do proper physical exercise regularly, teach not to smoke, and even parents do not smoke. Show and teach how to live healthily.

It teaches them to take responsibility for their actions and consequences, respect others as mine, do not disrespect children, the poor, or the elderly, and do not discriminate against them. If you don’t like 3Ds (dirty, difficult, dangerous) work, don’t let others to do it for you.

Photo 3-247. Children who are raised with eye contact love, physical contact love, and true unconditional love have good eye contact love and live with healthy self-esteem and pride, and confidence from an early age.

Copyright ⓒ 2012 John Sangwon Lee, MD., FAAP

It teaches how to do laundry, how to clean, how to organize bills, how to use checks (personal checks), how to throw out trash, how to cook, etc.

Teach things.

Children who are trained in this way develop healthier and healthy self-esteem and pride both mentally and physically.

If they don’t know, of course, they are afraid of everything.

It teaches that drinking, smoking, and addictive substance abuse negatively affect the body, mind, and social life in general and not be involved.

Meet and contact your child’s teachers frequently to find out how he or she is studying at school, how he or she lives and builds his or her healthy self-esteem and pride.

Have parents or only children participate in various events, sports, dramas, and concerts that take place in the area, volunteer, and develop healthy pride through other extracurricular activities.

The environment and conditions of the study room are appropriately created so that students can study hard, and they regularly do homework, preparation, and review at a certain time, and when they study, they help answer questions within a certain limit but do not do their homework instead of children. It teaches the way to study voluntarily rather than studying at the academy.

Let your children learn and develop healthy self-esteem at the library, at secondary school or college, or at Sunday school.

Never say anything that compares to his or her brothers, sisters, relatives, or neighbors.

Comparing your children to other children suggests that they are better than you and that you are worse than them. How bad will their heart be and their healthy self-esteem and pride will be damaged?

Assuming that the child is incapable of doing so, parents should not do his job all over for him.

There are many things the child can do on his or her own without parental help. Parents often conclude that he can’t do it and without having to get started. Some parents force adult sons and daughters to do this, even after they become adults.

 Suppose that you grew up having never done anything yourself. What grief for this.

 Can you find healthy self-esteem and pride in adults who grew up tied to the parenting of such parents?

How can a child raised under such parents go through the world alone and have sound pride?

It enhances their self-esteem by teaching them where their ancestors’ roots came from and to feel good in their roots.

Rich and healthy self-esteem is essential for children’s growth and development and success, and positively affects daily life at home or school, and positively affects school study, athletic ability, and relationships with peers. It is easy to see how important parental love is.

In addition, healthy self-esteem gives your children a wealth of ability to keep themself away from smoking, substance abuse, alcohol, and teenage pregnancy, and to challenge themselves to do something soundly, and it influences you to develop an amicable personality and to judge positively.

In order for a child to develop wholesome healthy self-esteem and pride, they must be immersed in true unconditional love. They must be trained and raised with love. Their love tanks must be filled with true unconditional parental love so that they fill their love tank with parental love. Without parental unconditional love and genuine love and help, children cannot have rich and wholesome healthy self-esteem and pride.

A child’s future and success depend on his parents’ true unconditional love.

The following is an example of a question-and-answer on Internet pediatric and adolescent health counseling on “I think she is lack self-esteem”.

Q&A. I think she lacks self-esteem.

Q. My child is a 10-year-old girl, and I’m worried because she doesn’t seem to have any pride.

What should I do?

Thank you. Youngkyung Dream

Lee Saek

That’s a good question. See information on nurturing healthy self-esteem in children above.

If you have any further questions, please contact us. Thank you.

Lee Sang-won Lee, MD., FAAP