Are people who lie a little better morally and ethically than people who lie a lot?
Can we determine the severity of a lie by measuring the degree of a lie with a ruler or weighing it with a scale?
The Greek Diogenes in the 4th century BC lit a lamp in broad daylight throughout his life to look for honest people, but he couldn’t find any truly honest people.
Saint Socrates disappeared from the death penalty for the “sin” of teaching young people how to live truthfully. Honesty could have a negative effect on children and young people of that era (Source: Love each other by Leo Busgaglio p.75).
According to a 1969 US Times study, 6 out of 10 Americans said they could lie when needed.
Then, how do our parents view their children’s lies?
Everybody will agree that our lives should be based on honesty.
We must teach our children to live honestly and train them to live honestly.
What is a lie?
Words made to deceive others are called lies.
The age to discern between lies and true words
Most infants and toddlers before the age of 4 years-old usually act and speak based on how much their parents like or dislike their actions and words.
Infants and preschool-age children before the age of 4 years old considered they are behaving or saying correctly if their mother or father likes what they did or said and acknowledge what they said or did, even though they did not do right.
Also, if the mother or father does not like and does not approve of their words and actions, even if they acted right and spoke correctly, they may think that their words and actions are wrong.
In this way, depending on whether or not they are satisfied with their words and actions, they usually talk and act for their parents.
Immediately before entering elementary school, most of the children begin to clearly discern what “true” means, what “false” means, and what “true” and “lie” mean.
For this reason, it is common that most children after the age of 5 years old are not to really lie.
18.2% of 6-years-old school-age children know that the fiction and the facts are different.
Most of the 9-years-old school-age children have the ability to discern fictional and factual stories.
When school-age children begin to realize that there is a difference between fact and falsehood, they also begin to understand the meaning of lies.
Most 7-years-old school-age children can feel guilty for lying. And they worry that they will be punished because they lied, and they think that they have sinned because they lied. They also worry that God will punish them, and sometimes they pray to God for forgiveness.
Most of the early adolescent children between the ages of 10 and 11 years-old think it is very important to live honestly. They begin to perceive that lying is bad.
Most infants and toddlers and preschool-age children before the age of 3 years-old cannot accurately understand the meaning of the opposite words, such as big and small, many and few, cold and hot.
In addition, it is common to not accurately discern the meaning of honesty or falsehood.
Infants and toddlers before the age of 3 years old are more often speaking without knowing the meaning of the words they are using.
Because of that, they often stop speaking without knowing whether they are lying or telling the truth.
Sometimes they make up their words fantastically without their knowledge, or they make up lies by exaggerating the facts.
Most school-aged children aged 6-7 years-old begin to understand some of the meanings of words such as truth, fact, honesty, and falsehood.
For infants, toddlers, preschool-age children before the age of 5 years-old or school-age children after that, If parents did not train them for what “It is bad to lie” and “You should not lie”, their children will continue to have the habit to lie. The habit may lead to puberty and adulthood.
It is here again to be reminded of the importance of parents’ responsibility for raising and training their children. It can be presumed that children and adults in some countries used to lie in their lives.
Classification of lies
Lies can be divided as followings
· Fantastic lies,
· Lies to imitate,
· Lies to exaggerate,
· Lies to make good,
· Lies to defend,
· Lies to draw attention,
· Lies to revenge,
· Lies to rebel,
· Morbid lies
1. Fantastic lie
It is called a fantastic lie to tell fantastically the story without telling the truth as it is.
When there is no fun in everyday life,
when one’s own thoughts are different from those of others,
when he brings out a situation to his advantage,
when he wants to receive more love from his parents,
when he fantasizes about what is not real
and he makes a fantastic lie.
Some parents consider some times they can lie in a fantastic way, and It’s nothing wrong to lie like that, They don’t care about it even if lie is a fantastic way, and they don’t educate their children that they shouldn’t lie. This is wrong parental education.
When the meaning of fact and the meaning of fantasy cannot be clearly discerned, and when the meaning of these two words is confused, children will tell fantastic lies.
It is common to unconsciously tell fantastic lies in the minds of toddlers and early school-age children without any reason.
For example, toddlers and early preschool-age children often hear fantastic stories about ghosts, mountain gods, and tigers.
In addition, when the toddlers or preschool-age children, early school-age children play at school or at home as a role of a prince, a dog, a lion, or a deer.
Sometimes they pretend to eat wood chips and play with them.
In this way, they play by deliberately creating stories and actions that are very different from the facts.
In addition, parents who watch young children or early school-age children who make fantastic stories interestingly compliment them a lot.
While raising preschool-age children or early school-age children, they listen to and learn a lot without knowing about the fantastic lies, and sometimes makeup themselves.
It can be that telling fantastic lies is part of normal growth and development.
However, if they make up their words fantastically and lie a lot if the degree is severe, they are abnormal.
Teach them to tell the truth and tell them that when they say a lot of fantastic lies, facts and fantasy are different.
Find out whether they are lying by making up their words fantastically or simply by making up your face. Fantastic lies can sometimes be made to escape from uninteresting or unpleasant situations.
It can’t be argued that such behavior is wrong because it takes time to know the difference between the facts and the words made up.
Most of the first-year elementary school students can’t discern between facts and fantastic stories.
For example, when a father pretends to eat, saying, “I’m going to eat you because you’re sweet,” there are also toddlers who may think they are really eating themselves.
In this way, parents teach toddlers who do not know the difference between facts and fantasy lies by comparing fantasy and facts.
When watching TV programs, such as fantastic cartoons, animals, or shows, teaches parents how to tell if the scenes are true or fantastic.
Whether the scene is not true or ask why it is not true, the hero is a true existence or creation, whether a person can fly in the air, what will happen if a dog is hit by a car, and so on. Listen and teach the difference between facts and fantastic stories.
Reads a book that has a real story and a fantastic story, and explains how to tell whether it is a real story or a fictional story. Buy age-appropriate books from the book store to differentiate between facts and fantastic stories.
2.Lies to imitate (imitate lies)
In fact, without telling other people, children can make it funny, and imitate it very differently.
In this case, it is called a lie to imitate.
Toddlers, preschool-age children, and early school-age children are not well developed and immature in their ability to judge self-righteousness and discernment, so they cannot clearly discern between real lies and jokes made.
In particular, they grow up by seeing, learning from their parent’s life, and they are imitating each and every action and word of their parents who truly love and raise them.
If parents pretend to lie in front of preschool-age children or early school-age children without telling the truth or lie in a fun way to exaggerate the facts, children can imitate well, and as a result, lie to imitate.
Parents themselves often make mistakes in this way in front of preschool-age children and children of early school-age and live without knowing that they are making such mistakes.
It is common for children and adolescents raised in such homes to not clearly discern truth from falsehood.
3.Lies to exaggerate (exaggerate lies)
Some children and adolescents exaggerate and brag well.
Sometimes this kind of lie isn’t a serious problem, but you should never encourage them to lie to exaggerate.
When parents exaggerate or brag differently than the facts, the children and adolescents of such parents resemble their parents and exaggerate makeup words, and lie.
It is common for adults to become angry when children and adolescents tell a little lie, but the adults do well in front of children and adolescents by telling lies that exaggerate the facts.
4.Lies in good faith (lies in good faith)
There are people who lie that if they don’t want to go to where they were invited, they say that they can’t go there because they have already received another invitation. Some people are good at telling lies of goodness like this.
Good lies are also one kind of lie.
However, if you often tell a good lie in front of your school-age or adolescent children, children can’t distinguish between speaking a truthful and good lie.
People who live with a lot of good lies sometimes also many other kinds of red real lies.
In today’s complex and turbulent society, children and adolescents do not understand the lives of parents who are constantly receiving various pressures, oppressions, and coercion, defeating them one by one, and living steadfastly.
So children and adolescents don’t know for sure why their parents tell such a good lie.
Children raised by parents who are telling good lies will learn to blame others for what they do not want to do or want to avoid, to let others do what they don’t want to do, or to blame others for their wrongdoing, or to avoid social pressure, they will do good lies as if they were eating daily meals.
Anyone who often and habitually tells good lies can be a really bad liar.
5.Lies to defend (defense lies)
Most of the children lie to defend themselves that it is not their fault to avoid being punished when they think they behave wrong and should be punished appropriately for their wrongdoing. It is said to be a lie to defend against such lies.
When they have to be held accountable for what they’ve done wrong, they can lie to defend that they are not responsible for it.
There are many things that children and adolescents should not do inside or outside the house, what they can do, and many rules to follow.
However, most of them don’t know all the rules to follow, what they shouldn’t do. They also don’t understand the meaning of the rules or restrictions their parents have made for them, and sometimes they forget about those rules or restrictions completely, and they can break them without obeying them even though they know they exist.
Nevertheless, many parents want their children and adolescents to behave 100% flawlessly and according to the rules or restrictions set by their parents.
And they know for themselves that children are breaking rules and restrictions set by their parents.
Many parents worry that their children will make even the smallest mistakes and want their children to do their own right.
Sometimes children don’t meet their parents’ expectations.
Sometimes it is necessary to make sure that children and adolescents do not obey and do not meet the expectations of their parents, and whether their children are immature and incapacitated and act contrary to their expectations.
Parents must clearly discern these two conditions so that their children will not lie.
If your young child has behaved inappropriately, the parent should ask him or her what motivated him or her to behave inappropriately.
Acknowledging wrongdoing can result in punishment for wrongdoing, and if you are not sure if the children did wrong, you cannot punish your children.
Some children in a similar situation can lie to avoid punishment.
Some children think about what’s wrong with lying to avoid being punished and misbehaving.
So they do wrong and they keep lying.
Some of the children are forced to make promises that are difficult to keep the promise to do so.
Also, children who do not know the meaning of the promise may be considered lying if they do not keep the promise after making the promise.
In fact, they didn’t try to keep their promise, but they lied because they didn’t keep the promise.
Their behavioral restrictions should be age-appropriate and don’t have too many rules in place.
It’s easy to lie if you clearly ignore or break rules or restrictions and ask your children why they did it.
As far as possible, you shouldn’t ask why.
When investigating the reason for breaking the rules, if children are confused, it is better not to investigate further and do not ask vague questions.
In such a situation, they can lie with the intent to escape.
In such a case, the punishment corresponding to the lying itself and the punishment corresponding to the behavior he committed should also be given.
There are also children who lie and immediately accept that they have done something wrong and then wright away they say that they have not done so wrong, and then they remain silent without giving any answers, and then they can lie again after the first lie, thinking that a lie will have negative consequences.
If you believe that they have lied for one or another reason, it is important not to ask questions about the reason for the lie, but to give no chance to talk.
Instead of blaming the child, pointing out false lies and punishing them for lying if necessary will prevent them from telling defensive lies again.
They can lie as a means of getting out of the way without being punished for wrongdoing.
When they are in a difficult situation, they can lie to get out of the situation.
Educate them that they should not be intimidated, deceived, or cheat while living.
Those who live honestly are educated that they are respected by others and that it is wrong and sin to bad behave or lie.
The discipline that it is much better to live honestly than to live with the guilt.
Parents must show complete honesty when dealing with their children.
In addition, the parents must be honest about anything between couples and show your children that they do so.
Parents teach that parent-child or marital relationships should be based on trust and honesty.
Parents teach that it is very important to live honestly so that parents and others can trust them.
6. Lies for retaliation (retribution lies)
They can steal, disobey, or lie to get revenge.
Some children lie to make their parents angry.
For example, when a parent asks “Where have you been?”, he knows for sure that there are rules for not going to the swimming pool without his parents’ permission, and knowing that parents will be angry if he goes to the swimming pool alone without his parents. He can lie, saying, “I went to the swimming pool.”
In this way, he can lie to retaliate.
By telling a lie for revenge, it shakes the heart of the parents and makes the parents angry.
In reality, parents can often see their children lying to retaliate.
This is especially seen in children who express their anger through passive-aggressive behavior.
They may lie to retaliate against parents who do not treat them fairly, hoping that their parents will treat them fairly, and they can lie revenge when brothers become jealous, and parents are more interested in other siblings. If parents take care of other child or love more, some children can lie to revenge on their parents.
7.Lies for praise or reward (praise or reward lie)
They can lie to get compliments or rewards from their parents.
Young children who grow up under their parents who want their children to do their best and who want them to be successful are often under considerable pressure from their parents without their knowledge.
Younger children usually do not meet their parents’ expectations. Nevertheless, they try to do their best to entertain parents and to achieve their responsibilities successfully.
They also evaluate whether they can achieve them.
And they set the direction they live in and want to go in that direction.
In this growth and development process, they can lie to their parents in order to rationalize their wrongdoing without their knowledge.
Young children who are immature and forced to do difficult things can lie.
They can also lie in front of their parents to show them what they did well.
8.Lies to rebel (rebellious lies)
They can lie in the face of being attacked for bad or as a means of rebelling against something.
When parents keep begging their children for something to do, parents learn that their child is lying when their parents reply, “I’m so busy I can’t accept your request.”
The child can lie just as their parents lie.
If a parent or family member keeps asking him for something to do, parents can upset children or them by refusing to respond rebelliously or refusing to do so, making negative excuses, giving false evidence, or lying.
9.Lies to get attention (attention lies)
Children who want more unconditional love and care from their parents can lie.
For example, if children know they haven’t done their math homework, they can lie to their parents that they have done their homework.
When children tell a lie, their parents know that children are lying, and parents know in advance that then they will be punished for the lie.
They can lie because they think it’s much better to pay attention to their parents.
10.Pathological lies (pathological lies)
Lies that are said to have no definite interest or reason for themselves are called pathological lies.
I sometimes see early adolescent children telling these pathological lies. Pathological lies can continue even after adulthood.
It is common to engage in acts such as stealing or running away from home.
Preventing lies and coping with lies
Parents shouldn’t even tell good lies that they don’t think will harm others.
Most young children cannot clearly discern between good and malicious lies.
That’s why children shouldn’t even learn to tell good lies from their parents.
While raising children, parents should base their dealings in front of children and adolescents based on trust and honesty.
Parents should educate children that lying is bad and wrong and that as a parent, their bad behavior which parents can’t just bear.
Teach your children that they should not lie without giving them the opportunity to lie.
As far as possible, avoid asking about the motives and reasons for lying.
Asking why the child did lie in addition to the lie, so it’s best not to ask about the motives and reasons for lying.
Of course, there are exceptions.
If parents know why their children lied, parents need to fix it as well.
Many people sometimes exaggerate facts to make lies and even tell good lies.
Even so, parents are very upset when their children and adolescents tell a little lie.
Most of the preschool 4 years old children are based on what their parents like and don’t like, they act and know that they do well if their parents seem to like their behavior, and if their parents don’t like what their children do, their parents think that their children’s behavior is bad. As already mentioned that it is normal.
Preschool-age children who know that their mother will be upset if their mother knows that they have broken a precious vase, sometimes tries to solve what they have done by lying that they did not break the vase even after breaking the vase because they did not want to upset her.
A preschool child with lots of chocolate on his face and hands can lie out loud and say I didn’t eat chocolate out of the bottle.
When a preschool-age child is taken to a zoo and parents cheat his child’s age in order to admit their child for free admission, the preschool-age child knows exactly what the parents are lying about.
Sometimes the toddler can embarrass his parents by saying aloud to his dad, “I’m not 3 yeas-old, I’m 4 years old.”
If a dad who is speeding, ignoring a stop sign, and violating a traffic violation falsely testifies to a traffic cop in front of his young children, they can learn to lie by seeing his dad lying.
Seeing a lying father and wondering why he would lie like that, sometimes the child can grow up and become the biggest liar in the world. So we must not let the children go into the cell.
How pitiful this is.
Sometimes, a big lie makes him feel like he is sitting in a cell.
There are many good lies in order to gain face or not to damage other people’s feelings, but young children cannot clearly distinguish between a bad lie and a good lie, so neither good lie nor unknowingly in front of young children.
It teaches the meaning of honesty, facts, and fakes.
From a preschool child, 2-4 years old, parents teach the difference between facts and non-facts (false) to the toddlers, preschool children according to their maturity.
There is not much knowledge in the minds of young children.
They see, hear, and record and store things in their minds that happen in the lives and society of their parents, brothers, and sisters, and they grow up.
Assuming that the dad is a monster, and playing with a little toddler child, that toddler can be surprised to know that dad really is a monster.
And they can doubt that dad is really a monster.
In this way, we can teach the difference between fact and fake, and whether dad really is a monster or whether a monster really exists in this world, etc., through such jokes, teaches the difference between fact and story.
There is a record similar to a video record in their children’s heads.
They keep in their minds everything they see and hear. After that, when parents play the record, what children see and hear comes back and they do what they see and hear.
It is not so wrong to say that most of the behavior shown to children comes from parents’ models and society.
Remember everything children and hear from parents who love you and respect you.
In addition, children and adolescents see, hear, learn, and remember each and every word and action of leaders who are fighting for superiority in society.
It is very important for parents to live honestly and set an example for children and adolescents.
However, parents can think of these words as if parents could say and hear them only in a dream.
It teaches that people who live honestly can always be winners.
Don’t be encouraged to lie.
Parents can do research to learn the motives and processes of their children’s wrongdoing or lying.
In the process of asking how children did wrong and why they lied, parents may encourage them to lie to them again.
When a parent saw a child standing with a broken cookie jar with cookie crumbs on his face, his mother said, “You went up there. and I told you not to take down the cookies, but you ate the cookies without my permission and broke the cookie jar?” When his mother asked, the child could answer “no” while looking at his mother with an innocent face.
The child ate a cookie and broke the cookie jar, but he did lie again at the mother’s question.
He made double trouble.
In the process of finding out the motives for doing the wrong thing in this way, by addressing the wrongdoings and lies while asking more about the obvious wrongdoings already, even an honest child can lie more.
The child who was told to lie that “my friend had a horse and rode it” Mother corrected her, saying, “The child’s friend did not ride a horse, but a donkey and your friend did not own a horse.”
As in this example, children have a tendency to show off, and they tend to lie in exaggeration. Teach them to speak honestly at such an opportunity, not to exaggerate, to speak honestly.
The children can choose to lie because they’re worried about punishment for being honest about their wrongdoing. As there is a saying, “If you lie, there will be nothing more to lose”, if you act badly and tell your parents that you did not lie, you will not get punished, and even if you do something bad, you may just pass by. For this reason, they will be lied to, so be careful.
Do not be sure to ask questions or ask the child for the wrong behavior and why you are wrong. “I’m really upset about what you did wrong,” parents say sternly, “I’ll punish you for breaking the cookie jar when you go there.”
When your child lies to deny that he didn’t do something wrong, you should ignore the word and focus on the first thing he did wrong.
If the parents don’t know exactly how he has not done it wrong, but his parents believe that the child was definitely wrong, don’t ask about the motives and process that made him wrong, but say positively that you did this in my opinion.
Emphasize whether the parents believe someone else did it and he or she didn’t when the child lied that “you didn’t break the vase.” Lies and wrongdoings treat both faults together and punish each fault.
Explain that “if your child does something wrong, you don’t get upset if your child says the truth.”
Explain, “If you lie again, it is wrong because you lie twice.”
What parents say to their younger children must be put into action.
The parents shouldn’t be punished severely for lying.
If the parents punish a young child too often, he can lie again to avoid punishment if he or she does something wrong.
You must punish for wrongdoing and punish for lying.
In addition to punishing for wrongdoing, if children lie for wrongdoing and add a lie to that lie, you must also punish them for the second lie. In other words, you must be punished with triple punishment.
Punishment for eating cookies out of a cookie jar without permission.
The next day, his parent does not give cookies, and for lying to his mother that he “did not eat cookies,” he is punished so that he cannot eat cookies for next two days by not giving them the next day.
In this case, punishment for about 1 week is severe depending on the age and the degree of lying and wrongdoing.
If you go to another house instead of going to a friend’s house after school, it is appropriate to be punished for two days after school.
It is recommended that the amount of punishment for lying is approximately equal to the amount of punishment for going to another home without permission.
Train your little ones to misbehave and lie in this way, and they’ll be honest when they’re doing bad things and lying.
If your child lies to a lie, the parents will be punished double the amount, and if the child does not lie to you anymore, you will be punished only half, and he will be honest and not lie.
Furthermore, he will grow up to become an adult who lives honestly and proudly.
He won’t be sitting in a prison cell for years.
It is important to punish the lie itself, but it is also important to teach him to tell the truth honestly that he lied.
Train by emphasizing the vital importance of acting and speaking truthfully and honestly in life.
When a young child behaves honestly, praise it immediately.
Teaching not to lie in this way and training to live honestly may seem simple, but it is the most difficult aspect of raising children.
If your child breaks a bottle while eating a snack and apologizes for it, praise him as a good child who honestly apologizes for his wrongdoing.
And you should only punish the bottle of cracked cookies.
Make a notebook that records your child’s honest words and actions every day, and write down the honest words and actions that day.
Review the notebook that day and praise him for what he did well.
You can also tell and praise others for your child’s honest behavior in front of them.
It is a good education for older school-age children to be honest and to write down in their notebooks that they have done a good job every week and to be seen and reviewed by their parents every week.
Being honest and truthful can give you privileges, rewards, and sometimes unexpected gifts.
When giving privileges or rewards for honest words and actions, give him to the extent that common sense makes sense.
If he tells his parents the truth about what he has been to a place without permission, even before it’s belatedly revealed, compliment him for telling him.
In the future, “I can give you the privilege of saying that he shouldn’t go anywhere without his parents’ permission, and since parents can trust you, next time you can go to another suitable place”.
If your child goes somewhere and comes on time, parents can give him the privilege to go again, and in this way, parents can gradually increase the privilege one by one according to the pace of growth.
Voluntarily apologizing for the wrongdoing after a child’s wrongdoing and before the parents are aware of the wrongdoing can result in less punishment than usual. However, training in this way can sometimes manipulate parents, so be careful.
If the children have lied in the past, but then act honestly and speak truthfully, it is worth rewarding and praising it.
And parents have to train them to keep speaking honestly and doing things right.
If this is the first time your child has forgotten an English book at school, you should honestly say thank you, and in return, help your child to figure out and find a way to find the book with their child, and not punish him for first misbehaving.
If the child speaks and acts honestly, it is appropriate to gradually increase your praise and privileges as his age.
Training in honesty, and the truth is adjusted according to the pace of growth.
If your child takes a lie seriously and repeats it, you should seek professional help.
If adolescent children 10 to 11 years old of age or older are seriously lying or have emotional problems with them, they should seek professional advice.
Some young children cannot discern between facts and fantasies, while some preschool-
age children and school-aged children can discern between facts and illusions, but they cannot regret that the lie is wrong after they lie.
Some children are lying maliciously when they know they are lying.
These lies are dangerous lies and require expert help.
Preventing lies and coping with lies
Parents shouldn’t even tell good lies that they don’t think will harm others.
Most young children cannot clearly discern between good and malicious lies.
That’s why children shouldn’t even learn to tell good lies from their parents.
While raising children, parents should base their dealings in front of children and adolescents based on trust and honesty.
Parents should educate children that lying is bad and wrong and that as a parent, their bad behavior which parents can’t just bear.
Teach your children that they should not lie without giving them the opportunity to lie.
As far as possible, avoid asking about the motives and reasons for lying.
Asking why the child did lie in addition to the lie, so it’s best not to ask about the motives and reasons for lying.
Of course, there are exceptions.
If parents know why their children lied, parents need to fix it as well.
Many people sometimes exaggerate facts to make lies and even tell good lies.
Even so, parents are very upset when their children and adolescents tell a little lie.
Most of the preschool children 4 years old children are based on what their parents like and don’t like, they act and know that they do well if their parents seem to like their behavior, and if their parents don’t like what their children do, their parents think that their children’s behavior is bad. As already mentioned that it is normal.
Preschool-age children who know that their mother will be upset if their mother knows that they have broken a precious vase, sometimes tries to solve what they have done by lying that they did not break the vase even after breaking the vase because they did not want to upset her.
A preschool child with lots of chocolate on his face and hands can lie out loud and say I didn’t eat chocolate out of the bottle.
When a preschool-age child is taken to a zoo and parents cheat his infant’s age in order to admit their child for free admission, the preschool child knows exactly what the parents are lying about.
Sometimes the toddler can embarrass his parents by saying aloud to his dad, “I’m not 3 yeas-old, I’m 4 years old.”
If a dad who is speeding, ignoring a stop sign, and violating a traffic violation falsely testifies to a traffic cop in front of his young children, they can learn to lie by seeing his dad lying.
Seeing a lying father and wondering why he would lie like that, sometimes the child can grow up and become the biggest liar in the world. So we must not let the children go into the cell.
How pitiful this is.
Sometimes, a big lie makes him feel like he is sitting in a cell.
There are many good lies in order to gain face or not to damage other people’s feelings, but young children cannot clearly distinguish between a bad lie and a good lie, so neither good lie nor unknowingly in front of young children.
It teaches the meaning of honesty, facts, and fakes.
From a preschool-age child, 2-4 years old, parents teach the difference between facts and non-facts (false) to the toddlers, preschool-age children according to their maturity.
There is not much knowledge in the minds of young children.
They see, hear, and record and store things in their minds that happen in the lives and society of their parents, brothers, and sisters, and they grow up.
Assuming that the dad is a monster, and playing with a little toddler child, that toddler can be surprised to know that dad really is a monster.
And they can doubt that dad is really a monster.
In this way, we can teach the difference between fact and fake, and whether dad really is a monster or whether a monster really exists in this world, etc., through such jokes, teaches the difference between fact and story.
There is a record similar to a video record in their children’s heads.
They keep in their minds everything they see and hear. After that, when parents play the record, what children see and hear comes back and they do what they see and hear.
It is not so wrong to say that most of the behavior shown to children comes from parents’ models and society.
Remember everything children and hear from parents who love you and respect you.
In addition, children and adolescents see, hear, learn, and remember each and every word and action of leaders who are fighting for superiority in society.
It is very important for parents to live honestly and set an example for children and adolescents.
However, parents can think of these words as if parents could say and hear them only in a dream.
It teaches that people who live honestly can always be winners.
Don’t be encouraged to lie.
Parents can do research to learn the motives and processes of their children’s wrongdoing or lying.
In the process of asking how children did wrong and why they lied, parents may encourage them to lie to them again.
When a parent saw a child standing with a broken cookie jar with cookie crumbs on his face, his mother said, “You went up there. and I told you do not to take down the cookies, but you ate the cookies without my permission and broke the cookie jar?” When his mother asked, the child could answer “no” while looking at his mother with an innocent face.
The child ate a cookie and broke the cookie jar, but he did lie again at the mother’s question.
He made double trouble.
In the process of finding out the motives for doing the wrong thing in this way, by addressing the wrongdoings and lies while asking more about the obvious wrongdoings already, even an honest child can lie more.
The child who told to lie that “my friend had a horse and rode it” Mother corrected her, saying, “The child’s friend did not ride a horse, but a donkey and your friend did not own a horse.”
As in this example, children have a tendency to show off, and they tend to lie in exaggeration. Teach them to speak honestly at such an opportunity, not to exaggerate, to speak honestly.
The children can choose to lie because they’re worried about punishment for being honest about their wrongdoing. As there is a saying, “If you lie, there will be nothing more to lose”, if you act badly and tell your parents that you did not lie, you will not get punished, and even if you do something bad, you may just pass by. For this reason, they will be lied to, so be careful.
Do not be sure to ask questions or ask the child for the wrong behavior and why you are wrong. “I’m really upset about what you did wrong,” parents say sternly, “I’ll punish you for breaking the cookie jar when you go there.”
When your child lies to deny that he didn’t do something wrong, you should ignore the word and focus on the first thing he did wrong.
If the parents don’t know exactly how he has not done it wrong, but his parents believe that the child was definitely wrong, don’t ask about the motives and process that made him wrong, but say positively that you did this in my opinion.
Emphasize whether the parents believe someone else did it and he or she didn’t when the child lied that “you didn’t break the vase.” Lies and wrongdoings treat both faults together and punish each fault.
Explain that “if your child does something wrong, you don’t get upset if your child says the truth.”
Explain, “If you lie again, it is wrong because you lie twice.”
What parents say to their younger children must be put into action.
The parents shouldn’t be punished severely for lying.
If the parents punish a young child too often, he can lie again to avoid punishment if he or she does something wrong.
You must punish for wrongdoing and punish for lying.
In addition to punishing for wrongdoing, if children lie for wrongdoing and add a lie to that lie, you must also punish for the second lie. In other words, you must be punished with triple punishment.
Punishment for eating cookies out of a cookie jar without permission.
The next day, his parent does not give cookies, and for lying to his mother that he “did not eat cookies,” he is punished so that he cannot eat cookies for next two days by not giving them the next day.
In this case, punishment for about 1 week is severe depending on the age and the degree of lying and wrongdoing.
If you go to another house instead of going to a friend’s house after school, it is appropriate to be punished for two days after school.
It is recommended that the amount of punishment for lying is approximately equal to the amount of punishment for going to another home without permission.
Train your little ones to misbehave and lie in this way, and they’ll be honest when they’re doing bad things and lying.
If your child lies to a lie, the parents will be punished double the amount, and if the child does not lie to you any more, you will be punished only half, and he will be honest and not lie.
Furthermore, he will grow up to become an adult who lives honestly and proudly.
He won’t be sitting in a prison cell for years.
It is important to punish the lie itself, but it is also important to teach him to tell the truth honestly that he lied.
Train by emphasizing the vital importance of acting and speaking truthfully and honestly in life.
When a young child behaves honestly, praise it immediately.
Teaching not to lie in this way and training to live honestly may seem simple, but it is the most difficult aspect of raising children.
If your child breaks a bottle while eating a snack and apologizes for it, praise him as a good child who honestly apologizes for his wrongdoing.
And you should only punish for the bottle of cracked cookies.
Make a notebook that records your child’s honest words and actions every day, and write down the honest words and actions that day.
Review the notebook that day and praise him for what he did well.
You can also tell and praise others for your child’s honest behavior in front of them.
It is a good education for older school-age children to be honest and to write down in their notebooks that they have done a good job every week and to be seen and reviewed by their parents every week.
Being honest and truthful can give you privileges, rewards, and sometimes unexpected gifts.
When giving privileges or rewards for honest words and actions, give him to the extent that common sense makes sense.
If he tells his parents the truth about what he has been to a place without permission, even before it’s belatedly revealed, compliment him for telling him.
In the future, “I can give you the privilege of saying that he shouldn’t go anywhere without his parents’ permission, and since parents can trust you, next time you can go to another suitable place”.
If your child goes somewhere and comes on time, parents can give him the privilege to go again, and in this way, parents can gradually increase the privilege one by one according to the pace of growth.
Voluntarily apologizing for the wrongdoing after a child’s wrongdoing and before the parents are aware of the wrongdoing can result in less punishment than usual. However, training in this way can sometimes manipulate parents, so be careful.
If the children have lied in the past, but then act honestly and speak truthfully, it is worth rewarding and praising it.
And parents have to train them to keep speaking honestly and doing things right.
If this is the first time your child has forgotten an English book at school, you should honestly say thank you, and in return, help your child to figure out and find a way to find the book with their child, and not punish him for first misbehaving.
If the child speaks and acts honestly, it is appropriate to gradually increase your praise and privileges as his age.
Training in honesty, and the truth is adjusted according to the pace of growth.
If your child takes a lie seriously and repeats it, you should seek professional help.
If adolescent children 10 to 11 years old of age or older are seriously lying or have emotional problems with them, they should seek professional advice.
Some young children cannot discern between facts and fantasies, while some preschool-age
children and school-aged children can discern between facts and illusions, but they cannot regret that the lie is wrong after they lie.
Some children are lying maliciously when they know they are lying.
These lies are dangerous lies and require expert help.