53. Older brothers or sisters’ jealousy towards newborn siblings
The following is an example of a question-and-answer on Internet pediatric adolescent health counseling about
“He does not listen to words after having a younger brother”.
Q & A. He does not listen well after having a younger brother
Q. I am Lee Ae-gi’s aunt… He had a younger brother a few days ago, but before the younger brother was born, he listens well, but from the time his younger brother was born, he became a troublemaker and become “a blue frog(The blue frog children have ever listened to their mother) ”.
He spits it out while eating ice cream. He really doesn’t listen. But I am also worried that he may get hurt if I punish him. What should I do in this case?
He can’t have toilet training yet, but I’m also worried about that. It’s been 25 months.
A. Hello. Thanks for asking.
Ideally, diagnosis and treatment should be performed by combining information obtained from the results of the child’s age and gender, past and present family history, symptoms and signs and medical examination findings, and appropriate clinical lab tests, but I will respond based on the information provided.
It seems that he has normal jealousy of seeing his new brother.
The next article is about jealousy between brothers, so please refer to it.
There are some children who have their toilet training at the age of 2 years old, but after age 2 years old there are more children who have their toilet training.
It is natural and normal for older brothers to feel jealous when they see a new brother and think that he will become their partner.
This kind of jealousy occurs in almost all children who have a new brother.
But toddlers and preschool children between the ages of 2 and 4 years old are more jealous when they see their new brother. There are many reasons for this, but toddlers and preschool children at this time can feel more clearly than ever that they live with affection and loving care from their parents.
On the one hand, they think that they are independent human beings, but they are totally dependent on their parents.
After a new younger sibling is brought, jealousy arises when parents and family members think that they take care of and love the new sibling more than they do older children. Mom gives new sibling breast milk or artificial nutrition, and she takes care of old children less than before, and old brothers think parents love them no more. Parents should take more special care of their older children so that they can reassure them and feel that they love and care about them as they did before their new brother was born.
You must be careful not to love too much and caring for your new child in front of the older brother who has seen it.
When your friends, family, or people taking care of your new baby, they need to be careful not to hurt the older brother or sister’s feeling who inadvertently sees their new brother.
In front of an older brother or sister who is very jealous, mothers should sometimes avoid feeding a new baby, and mothers should avoid holding and loving younger brother in front of the older brother or sister as much as possible. However, you must be careful not to keep the child who has seen his new brother away from parents or family members.
Fathers and mothers must love and take full care of the older brothers and sisters who have seen their new siblings more than before.
Children who see the new brother may feel rejected by their parents, especially if the mother overprotects his new sibling.
Children with emotional anxiety and hostility are more envious.
He sometimes envies his new brother in order to continue to receive more from his parents the pleasures, benefits, and rights he has received from his parents.
They may bite, push, hit and pinch their new sibling, wish that younger brother is no longer exist, and instead of showing outward jealousy to their babies, they act aggressively, negatively, and regressive, and some children kick and destroy toys.
We must prevent this jealousy by letting us know that we will have a new baby brother during pregnancy and that the baby will not take away your rights and interests and that we will continue to love you and take care of you by words and actions.
This jealousy can go away gradually, but it usually does not go away completely. Also, please consult with the pediatrician after receiving medical examination treatment. If you have more questions, please contact me again. Thank you.
Lee Sang-won, M.D
“Thank you. Jealousy, love, constipation, milk intake” is an example of online pediatric health counseling questions and answers.
Q & A. Thank you. Jealousy, love, constipation, cow milk intake
Q. Hello, thank you for the answer to the last respiratory arrest attack.
I am the mother of two boys.
I’m a plastic surgery nurse, and my husband works for cultural center facility management.
The children are raised by my natural mother at my house.
Of course, we live all together at my home.
All children are sleeping in my mother’s bedroom.
The older one is four years old (37 months).
The little one is two years old (24 months).
The 4 years old son has a history of respiratory arrest attacks.
When my eldest child was 25 months old, I had my younger son, and it was too much for the elder son “I’m sorry” about the younger son.
Right now, he is doing the same thing. He still beat his brother, push and pinch, and if I carry younger son on my back, he asked me to pick him up too.
This time I am writing because of my big kid. If he is going to go to bed at night, he will ask for a milk bottle a so-called “mamma bottle” and try to eat and sleep on the milk bottle. Even he asked me to feed him at on my lap. I’m too tired to even hug and feed.
And he used to always eat that way even at dawn.
If I don’t give it, he has been crying for too long until so far. And he ate about 1 liter of milk a day, but I wonder if that’s okay.
He is taller than other kids at the same age now.
His height is similar to kids about 6 years old.
It weighs 18 kg.
During the day, he has toilet training, but he wet still while sleeping, so he wears diapers and sleeps.
He is constipated because he eats too much milk (plain milk).
It is a very hard stool once a day because it is too hard and the lump is large.
Thank you so much for the opportunity to consult like this.
I read the contents in the “Childcare Column”.
The concern and love for children seem to be conveyed as it is.
I once again thought about the role of parents and my love and actions for my children.
And I didn’t know the answer would come so quickly.
Thank you for many things
I made a mistake and entered this title twice.
Sorry.
A. Hojung
Hello. Thanks for the great question.
The more information you know about your child’s age, gender, past medical history, family medical history, medical examination findings, and clinical examination, the more helpful it is to give you a better answer. I will respond based on the information you provided.
Thank you for writing a good article and positively acknowledging my homepage.
We believe that when raising our children, we, all take good care of them and love them by providing them with a sufficient supply of what they need food, clothes, sleeping home, health, sleep, love, education, toys, etc.
But children desperately need real love–without condition–other than to do so. In addition, health and sufficient sleep are essential.
That’s right.
Children who grow up with such love, look good, and act worthy of us.
And only if they receive enough true love without condition, they are less envious of their younger brothers or older brothers, and if they are angry with them, they can properly express their anger.
In today’s very active day-to-day life, it is difficult to give them enough of the most important thing–true unconditional love.
How upset would be when an older brother thinks that a new brother took his mother and father?
How heartbreaking would it be when my beloved husband was taken by one of my friends?
The examples in these two cases are not exactly the same, but the “love deprived” itself is almost the same.
Many mothers did not even think about this but were pregnant, went to the hospital, gave birth, and brought the new younger brother home, and ignored the older brother.
It was so wrong not to be considerate of the older brother to see his or her new brother from the time you were pregnant or even before you became pregnant.
Perhaps I did.
When the child thinks that all of his love has been taken away from his new brother, he seems to express his anger through so-called aggressive behaviors, such as pushing and hitting his new brother and drinking milk from a milk bottle.
It’s a bigger problem if this angry child expresses his anger passively and aggressively without saying anything, not hitting his new brother, or yelling instead of expressing his anger with this type of behavior.
I’m glad I can see that the child is angry.
If you talk with focused attention love, you will see why the child is angry.
And if you bring that child to me, I have a medicine that I prescribe.
Do you know what the name of the drug is?
I believe everyone who has visited my homepage already knows.
It is “UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
Get an examination at your pediatrician and talk about this problem. If you have more questions, please contact me again. Thank you. Lee Sang-won,MD.